Thu, 24 Jun 2004, Reader writes:
My fiancee passed away June 1, 2004. It was a unexpected death. I sent this letter this morning to my sister and two close women that I believe, all believe in the afterlife. Maybe I have already gotten my awnsers to the happenings below or maybe not? I'm sending this to you three because I don't think you will think I'm crazy.... I am not! I was not drinking, I was not high or anything else... Maybe a little tired, but not delirious.
Last night I sat on the deck and cried for awhile. A hard cry. I remember saying Tom was not with me anymore and it was questioningly... I need help in possibly interpreting this. I was awakened 3 times in the night with the touch lamp being on! I sleep on Tom's side of the bed now. The light was on my old side. The first time I leaned over and pulled it away from the wall to make sure the fan above was not making it hit the wall and turn the lamp on. It turned on 2 more times. By the 3rd time it was after 5:00 am. The same time I have been waking up for more than 2 weeks (my usual work get up time). The neighbors also leave their kitchen/dining room light on (which has in the past kept me awake).
I always think there might be a reason I'm waking up? One morning it was because of a sunrise,(Jo) that changed colors and was beautiful. So I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, walked back in the bedroom and walked over to the sliding door. Looking out thinking what possibly could I have been woken up for, and why did the light go on three times in the night? I thought a fire? Something to do with a light? As I was staring off over the lake the deck caught my eye. The lights were off on the deck. It drove Tom crazy when a light was not on, always tapping them to see if it would come on or needs a bulb. I thought ok! Maybe I was supposed to get up and see that the lights on the deck are off. When I was out there around 11:00, crying, they were on???
I turned and went back to my side of the bed. The lights were off. I noticed a light not quite square about the size of a piece of paper on the bedroom door (the door was open). It was lit and it was like a palm leaf. I looked out the sliding door from the bed to see if some light was on that in front of it was a leaf like this and it's reflection was on my door. It was interesting. I looked out and saw nothing that could have made that type of reflection on the door inside across the room. I was looking more at the neighbors lit kitchen/dining area and their deck caught my eye, a plant on it but there was absolutely no light behind it. I looked back at the door and it was gone! I sat on the bed looking back and forth from the door to the outside of the slider. I layed back on the bed and said, "OH GOD". I was afraid to look back at the door for awhile.... It was too eerie!
I was trying to think about what the hell just happend! I was analyzing the possible meaning of what I saw. I came up with Lighted Palm. It dawned on me that the somewhat looking palm tree on the landing of the stairs, that looks nothing like the palm leaf on the door, but it has an uplight inside of it. It has been out and I have forgotten to get a new bulb for it! I turned the tv on the distract my scared mind and after about 15 minutes the damn lamp turned on again. It was not near the wall and the fan did not look like it was making it move at all. I'm not losing it you guys. Things are happening that I think could be something. It would be ok!
The palm leaf and the stereo on when Dylan and I got back from the boat ride, playing one of Tom's favorite songs (was pretty striking too). And neither of the girls had been here during that boat ride. I was also wondering Doris, "Is there any type of Tarot card with a palm leaf in it? The background was light in color. I'm just grasping for alternative meanings." Deanna, "I would really like to see that psychic you had talked about you going to. I really am trying to move on! To heal!"
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