Sun, 24 Jan 99, Reader writes:
Almost 5 years ago, I was at a country music concert... was the first time I had seen the performer... but when he walked out on stage, my life forever changed. I had an immediate feeling of excitement... mixed with devastating grief. It was like a one way mirror where I could see him, but he couldn't see me. It was like I wanted to jump up and down and say "I'm here!. Here I am!" I wanted to hold him and just cry. I was very confused, all my emotions but at the same time knew what they were. After the concert I had the opportunity to meet this person but knew I couldn't because of my emotional state. I knew he'd think I was a derranged fan if I approached him in this state so I left without meeting him.
I have to say, I have been happily married to the same man now for 22 years and have always been faithful and never thought otherwise except for this instance. The first year after this "realization" was very difficult. I continued to grieve and felt that I may never get the chance to meet him again. About 17 months after the first experience, I had a past life flash that lasted only a second of two, but held alot of information. We were husband and wife in past life, it was Civil War time and the soldiers came and took him away from me. By the time this had happened, I felt I was finally emotionally strong enough to get in touch with this guy and let him know how and what I was feeling. So I wrote him this poem that was my feeling and an account of the "past life flash".
This is the poem...
"It was like a distant dream, a slow moving journey to the past--- way back to the days when our love was devoted to each other... And then they came and led you away... I knew at that moment I'd never see you again... my heart ached... I was crying and reaching out... My life had changed--- you were gone.
We were late 20's or so--- me in my long cotton print dress, you in grey pants, white shirt and black suspenders... They wouldn't even let us say "Good-bye"... it just ended... and left me searching for the love of "that" life.
Now, here we are in another time... together again, but so far apart. I know you're no longer mine to have, you belong to the plan of this life... Hold me, kiss me and tell me you remember how it used to be... then whisper "good-bye"... softly, gently, the darkness will fall on the memories of years gone by, like the setting sun of today.
Look in my eyes, and see in mine, as I see in yours, yet another "good-bye"... to what we have found in this life. We will always be together, nothing will ever take away the passion in my soul that lives for what was... and what will be again... in another life... Hold me, kiss me... and tell me "Good-bye".
I've had brief encounters with him since. At first he was a little spooked by the whole concept but he's starting to form at least a little trust towards me. I just feel if we could discuss the situation that maybe it would help me put some closure on it. I haven't seen him for 2 years now due to his touring schedule, it's somewhat easier to handle now, but still difficult at times. I know he's not the same man now that I was in love with. But yet he is. Sometimes I get angry that I had the rememberence, but mostly I guess I'm thankful. How many people have that privledge! I wish I knew why it happened. It had to be for a reason... but have come to accept it as one of lifes unanswered mysteries.
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