Sat, 24 Jul 99, Reader writes:
Hi, first of all this is not a prank. I have been trying to find out things about myself. Well, since about the 6th grade, I have felt feelings when I go into certain rooms or houses. I could tell if it was good or bad because good was cold and bad was hot and when I felt the hot feeling, I felt like I had pain and hurt. But the cold feeling was like happiness. As the years went on the feelings got stronger and I felt them more often.
Then recently, I would actually see things. I was very frightened by this. The only person that I told any of this to was my girlfriend. She helped me out a lot, telling me that it was a gift that I had. I would see things more and more and finally, I asked God to take this gift away. I was too scared.
I just wanted to feel my grandfather one more time. On many occasions I felt him and it made me feel better about his lose. I went into his room and I felt him just for a little while then it was gone. When the feeling was gone, I realized I had this feeling all my life. I just thought that it was a normal feeling but now I have an emptyness. It feels like a limb from my body has been takin away. I kind of regret it but then again, I don't.
I don't know if I was supposed to have these feelings... like they were meant for me or I was wrong for asking to take them away. What I would like to know is... Were these feelings real? Was I wrong to ask them to leave me? Am I chosen for some reason? I'm very confused as I am still very young. I am only a senior in high school. It's just very odd and I figured you would know what was going on. I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks a lot.
Mon, 26 Jul 99, Otherplane's reply to reader:
We cannot really say that we miss something until that something is gone. That's when we stop and savor what it represented and then we move on. On the other hand, if we spent a little more time scrutinizing the things that we took for granted, then you probably wouldn't be writing this email. A gift is never gone. It may be diminished due to lack of use. It could be that you are able to turn it on or off by thought (without you realizing that you are doing it).
If you are able to handle it, give it another try. In life, there comes a time when firm decisions and commitments must be made... do not be "wishy-washy" (someone who cannot make up his mind). There are no right or wrong, in your situation. The mind is a powerful thing that we take for granted. You have the opportunity to practice your claimed gift and hopefully in time, pass-on your experience and knowledge to others.
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