Sat, 29 Aug 98, Reader writes:
For over a year and a half, I have had a recurring dream/nightmare. They started after my mother died, in March '97 (my father, 20 years older than she, died in late Feb. '97). As background, her death was very unexpected - instantaneous death from heart attack, right in front of me, at 10 pm on the eve of their anniversary. Anyway, my husband, I, and our son (then 3 months old, their first grandchild) moved into their apartment after they died so I am living right here where both died.
Anyway, the theme is as follows. I am either in this apartment (their final home) or in the house in which I grew up. Miscellaneous things are happening, of no particular importance (though in the dreams that take place in our former house, I always wonder why the new owners don't mind that we are there). My father is around, always, chatting, being charming, bouncing my son on his knees. My mother -- a very talkative, charming in a girl-like way kind of person -- is there, standing, UTTERLY silent, looking rather sullen and distressed. She stands there waxen, and looking very unhappy.
I recently had another child, in June 98. Since my daughter was born, the dream (which I did not have in the last two months of my pregnancy) has come back with a vengeance. This time around, it is more frightening -- my children are not in the apartment (always some details about my husband taking them to the park, or to the grocery store, or something). I hear a banging on the front door -- just like how my son bangs, when he is still in his stroller and arrives. I hear the banging, and I open the door, but there is my mother (I point out that sometimes in these dreams my father is already in the apartment, talking about current events and I do mean current). She steps in, and I become aware in the dream that she is dead, for she is so waxen and still. Again, she stands there, not talking, looking very dour. I start talking to her, asking her to stay until the children come back, and especially to meet my daughter whom she would have been so happy to know -- then I wake up, often in a cold sweat and generally feeling terrified.
Any clue as to what this might mean? I have had this dream about five times per week. Perhaps more, but I don't remember. Since the little ones wake me up, I often am mid-dream and thus remember.
Paranthetically, my older sister whom I have grown closer to since their deaths, at one point began to complain that she had this dream repeatedly where Mama was silent. I had not mentioned this to her; thus I have to wonder about what is going on. I have the dream far more often than she does, however -- but I was around them all the time, so perhaps that is natural. Any ideas?
Thu, 03 Sep 98, Otherplane's reply to reader:
That was your mother alright, appearing in your dreams and of your sister's. She was not expecting her early death and that was a suprise to her also. On top of that, your mother is still earthbound while your father is already in heaven. They cannot see each other even if they're so close in the house and even in your dreams.
Since you're having these dreams so often, do remind yourself to tell her to move on and see her husband on the other side. Also tell her that the kids are alright and you love her dearly. If the dream stops, then she listen to you, if only just find the right word that she will understand. It was her choice to stay behind and the reason for that...she only knows.
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